I Know I Need To Do Better …
These words could actually be holding you back!
How many times have you “confessed” to someone something like this: “I’ve been trying to watch what I eat/Get more exercise in/snack less/stay on top of this laundry! I KNOW I NEED TO DO BETTER, though…”?
Let’s explore this concept, dissect it, and set it straight.
I KNOW indicates that you have knowledge of a thing as you speak about it. “I know how to tango,” or “I know what you mean” all pronounce positivity about your knowledge of something.
I NEED is saying you have lack. When you need something, it is something you don’t have. “I need to rest,” or “I need to get this” are examples.
DO BETTER says that whatever you are doing now about a thing is not enough.
But, what if what you are doing is enough right now? Let’s just say you are not in a state of lack and have all that you need already to do your best. And what happens if we change the dialogue to: “I know”?
So often women that are busy in life drive and push themselves to the point of not being able to see just how amazing things really are for themselves. Women will go at neck-breaking speed, never changing their inner dialogue from the voice of lack, need or ignorance.
That has to stop.
When you change your inner dialogue, you change your perspective.
Take, for example, the article from Adam Brady at www.Chopra.com. Here it tells us that our inner dialogue colors our perception, be it negative or positive. https://chopra.com/articles/6-tips-to-master-your-internal-dialogue#sm.001bzcvl712hke9j10s9eafy415zm
Psychology Today explains how despite setting forth on a journey to change something about ourselves, if the outcome is less than planned, you need to “support yourself through positive self-talk”. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201707/the-power-your-internal-dialogue
“’I AM’ are two of the most powerful words, for what you put after them shapes your reality.” – Unknown
Let’s try: I AM doing a great job, but I choose to fine-tune my efforts because I AM worth it!
Recognize that progress is being made even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. The best example of this is exercising and eating well. The first couple of weeks it may seem that changes in your choices and behaviors aren’t making a difference at all. But by keeping with the work, eventually the muscles begin to tone and clothing starts to sag and slip.
Everything isn’t supposed to happen instantaneously because there is a process. It isn’t failure.
Tell yourself you are worth the work.
Stop telling yourself you can’t keep up with the demands of your life. It isn’t that you can’t. You may just need to let go of needing to control every aspect or you could try scaling back and even letting someone else take up some of the slack. Having less demands of yourself feels really good and you may look around and see that you now have time to do things that bring your pleasure.
Don’t be afraid to get help. Seeing a counselor isn’t a sign of weakness. We all need someone to talk to that can help us steer our directions. It’s normal. And a counselor can be an elder, trusted friend or a professional. No need to go it alone.
Also, the self-help section of the bookstore (physical and online) may give you some great reading to help. Personal development should always be included in your day, so do an online search for books that cover this topic and spend some time learning more!